Thursday, 22 January 2015

The Lost Mine of Phandelver 4: Everyone wants to kill the drow

WARNING: The following article contains material from “The Lost Mine of Phandelver”, which is an official module from D&D 5th edition. If you’re planning on playing it, stop reading right away, otherwise this strange spirit will tickle you in places where darkvision doesn’t work.

So, recapping the key events of the previous sessions, a trio of dwarven brothers was looking for the fabled Lost Mine of Phandelver. Their intent was cut short by the deeds of a drow known as "Black Spider". After dealing with a band of thugs in the city of Phandalin, and rescuing Gandrid Rockseeker from captivity in the ruins of Cragmaw Castle, the most awesome adventuring party in Faerûn, known as “The Divine Flame”, caught the track of the lost mine…

We had already covered a lot of ground inside the mine when we were surprised by a half-naked half-elf, running from half-goblins (hobgoblins), half-in-trouble-with-the-baker because of the baker's wife. Don't ask… my gnome was half-confused with the whole story!
After rescuing Gilthanas from the fiends' paws, we carried our course. Our attention was claimed by the second inner building, the one right next to THE FORGE OF SPELLS - which became rightfully mine by holy and divine inheritance, thanks to the spirit from the previous session (yeah, the ugly one that looked like a beholder) . Now we were faced with a problem. A NEW spirit was inside the building, claiming that the Forge was his! WHAT? Such defiance cannot withstand! The Forge of Spells belongs to Baccardi Riga The Third - that being me!
Words were lost trying to reason with the spirit, which by no account understood that he was dead. But he had a treasure chest, and allowed us to pick ONE item from it. Needless to say we took them all... Since we have no rogue in the party, and being Mage Hand a cantrip, I took the time to levitate each diamond, coin, and whatsoever (a classy pipe) into the half-elf’s bag of holding.

With absolutely no weight on our consciences we continued our path, peacefully killing bugbears and hobgoblins. My gnome's batteries were probably exhausted, since he spent most of the time shooting Firebolts at the ceiling!
Hey! Look, the paladin did a critical with his sword! Wow, the cleric smashed the ugly bugbear with 15+ damage! Ouch, the druid just shot an arrow through the hobgoblin’s eye! And… the gnome just rolled another 4…
Alas! At least I have a magical Forge…

Eventually we reached Black Spider’s lair, being the drow accompanied by the third dwarven brother, which was in fact a doppelganger, trying to convince us that Gandrid was a greedy guy wanting the mine for himself.
And there I was, willing to dialogue with the drow, and hoping for a possibility to avoid bloodshed, which is quite probably the most anti-Dungeons-&-Dragons thing ever, and ever, and ever, and when I looked over my shoulder both the paladin and the cleric were hammering the drow into oblivion… Oh, wait! This is the module’s boss! This is the ultimate BBEG (big bad evil guy)! I’m sure he is an all-powerful wizard with countless spells, shooting acid arrows from his fingers, and spitting fireballs, and… and… and the bastard’s dead even before getting up from the chair where he was sitting.
I mean… COME OOOOOOON! I can’t even shoot a fracking hobgoblin in the face, and the paladin and cleric take the BIG BAD EVIL GUY DROW OF DOOM AND HELL AND STUFF in the first round? I want a refund…
Well, at least it wasn’t a total waste. I managed to hit the doppelganger with a Chromatic Orb… and then failed two more subsequent hits… Ok, guys, I’m just going to wait for you all up there by my forge… No, no, don’t bother… I’ll just sit there, blowing the embers till you’re finished…

And thus it came to pass! All evil was banished, the mine was cleared, the wee, nameless, random people of Phandalin can once again thrive, and we got a bag full of gold and XP!
The Lost Mine of Phandelver is a very nice introductory module for Dungeons & Dragons’ 5th Edition. It can keep a group of players entertained for around five gaming sessions, presenting several adventuring locations, with good roleplaying opportunities, and finishing with a classic dungeon crawl. I enjoyed a lot the initial sessions, where we had plenty of time and liberty for roleplaying, unlike this final bit where we had to somewhat rush the last part of the cave / mine / dungeon, and didn’t have a chance to roleplay amongst us. BUT, the DM already announced that a side quest was left in stand-by… so, I’m sure you’ll hear again about the misadventures of THE DIVINE FLAME!

And just so that we’re absolutely clear on the matter… the Forge IS legitimately mine! I have papers proving it!
Well, of course the papers are forged! We’re talking, after all, about a Forge! =)


  1. This report is an outrage for me as the famous, charming and brave Half-Sun Elf Paladin of this adventure party! It is all a utter and complete lie!

    It was the baker daughter! Not the baker´s wife! Pfffff Have you have been with that banshee? Dont ruin my reputation, please! Now on the other hand, their daughter is quite the charming lady!

  2. A thousand apologies, dear sir! My bardic skills are quite limited... :-O Besides, with a Wisdom of 8 I tend to overlook this kind of details... But rest assured, I'll make my best effort to unblemish thy reputation! I will go straight to the baker and tell him: "Kind sir, I apologize for my false statements! My dearest friend Gilthanas personally assured me that he has absolutely no interest in Mrs. Banshee!"