Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Riga’s Log: The Tears of Selûne – Part II

[Divine Flame]
Baccardi Riga The Third (gnome illusionist), Gilthanas Sunblade (half-elf paladin), Malak (half-orc rogue/fighter)

Previously: Summoned by the Church of Sune to Neverwinter, the heroes search the city for three tears of the goddess Selûne that have fallen from the sky.

Noble Scoundrels
I do recognize that, from time to time, I tend to act somewhat like a scoundrel (some ill-intentioned people may even brand me a charlatan), but comparing to what you see among Neverwinter's noble class... Pfffft! I have years of training ahead of me!
We were approached by a maid of Lord Farrahkan's, who told us (after asking for gold) that one of the crystals was in her lord's possession. Well, time for some house calls to the nobles of Neverwinter!
Since Gilthanas seems to be, AGAIN, "missing in action" (underneath the sheets of some oddly named inn), it falls to me and Malak to visit Lord Farrahkan. So, I pay for a fine horse-drawn carriage to take the High Representative of Phandalin Baccardi Riga The Third, and his companion, Master-of-Arms Professor Malak, to beseech an audience at Farrahkan Mansion.
We wait... and wait... and wait... and wait in exasperation, until some nosy butler comes to us asking for our intentions. What?!?! Am I, BACCARDI-RIGA-THE-THIRD, envoy oh Phandalin, to justify myself to the butler? Get outta here! I tell him that our business is for Lord Farrahkan's ears only. But the guy insists, and insists, and insists. This stuck up half-witted scruffy-looking nerf herder starts to REALLY get on my nerves! I tell him that we wish to discuss Art issues with Lord Farrahkan, alliances, an incoming orc invasion, whatever! But he just plays with words.
At some point, he decides to mention - hypothetically - that Lord Farrahkan may - hypothetically - have one of the crystals. And that - hypothetically - he may be willing to trade it for a painting residing in Lord Luther's mansion, which could only be - hypothetically - acquired via less transparent ways.
I AM AT A SHOCK! Who does this culprit thinks he's talking with!!!!!!??????
"Professor Malak, I refuse to exchange one more word with this scum! I leave the matter in thy wise hands!"
Yup... the flamboyant gnome and the fearsome half-orc make a good team.

Thunderstruck at the sound of pipes
It would be unthinkable for a noble gnome such as moi to enter a mansion in the middle of the night in order to steal a painting. So, I leave my clothes in a box, dress all in black, and if anyone asks... my name is Fidelio. I use my Spider Staff to give Spider Climb to both of us, and we follow the path of the ninja!
Twenty seconds after leaping the fence, I have a thousand guard dogs barking and chasing me. I turn invisible and try to run into the house. But these are huge, vicious, german shepherd dogs... although there is no Germany in Faerûn. So I'm going to call them CORMYR MASTIFF HOUNDS OF BANE!!!!!! With big red eyes! And teeth!
And, fuuuuuuck, they picked up my scent. They're going to catch me, even while I'm invisible! Sune, my lady, save thy noblest of followers!!!!
And she does.
Gilthanas, with the most perfect sense of timing in the history of existence, appears near the mansions' gates, pretending to be drunk. He plays his bagpipes and uses some spell to make thunder and lightning crash unto the walls, wreaking havoc all over the place. That gives us enough time to "pickpocket" the painting and get-the-F-out.
Come next day, Gilthanas and Malak go back to Farrahkan Mansion and trade the painting for the crystal.
Too bad the dogs caught my scent. I was planning to inform Lord Luther, anonymously, that the painting now rested in half-witted Louis' hands...

Floating Towers and Floating Armors and Floating Carpets
Some shady Harper dude approaches Gilthanas and informs him that the third Tear of Selûne rests atop a floating tower. The only way to reach it is through the gadget of a gnome named Pietrr, which resembles a huge ballista. Oh, this is going to be fun!
We climb the rope up to the floating tower, which is rather amazing, because it has ghosts of wizards falling from it. On arrival, BAM! Everything around us changes! We are no longer in Neverwinter, but in some weird grassy plains area. As everything seemed to be going so well, il bastardo (aka the DM) decides to throw every piece of FURNITURE at us. Suddenly, the carpet gets animated, there are flying swords all around us, a set of armor attacks us, all Hell breaks loose!
Like elephants in a porcelain shop, we smash everything. I wish I could keep the carpet... It would be nice to have a flying carpet. No half-wit would deny an audience to Lord Baccardi Riga The Third again...

Drying the Tears of a Goddess
And, there you have it! Another successful accomplishment for the Divine Flame. We return the three tears/crystals to priestess Jasmine - which Gilthanas INSISTS must occur in Sune's temple (the religious intolerance of these people is appalling! - and there is much reverie.
Before leaving Neverwitner I meet with our friend priest Magnus, and ask him to intercede on my behalf near Lord Nasher in order to build a road connecting Phandalin to the High Road. I offer my services to place a road sign pointing towards our blooming town... Which obviously will have a mention to the noblest Baccardi Riga The Third! ;)
All is well when it ends well.

Previously Unseen Footage of Gilthanas' Performance in Neverwinter