Khan’s Report: Dark Pyramid of Sorcerer’s Isle

Tyranny of Dragons Storyline Season – Expedition 11: Dark Pyramid of Sorcerer’s Isle

[Heart of Platinum]

Khan (dwarf cleric), Lanza (elf bard), Sasha (human ranger), Septimus (tiefling warlock)

Previously: The City of Phlan has fallen captive to the Cult of the Dragon, led by the elder green dragon known as The Maimed Virulence. The heroes were forced to flee the city, and await the right time to take it back. But a pressing situation is laid before them, when the dark powers of a long forgotten pyramid threaten the landscape around Phlan…

Sooooooo, this is going to be the LEAST EPIC adventure log... ever!

The party was invited by "generic important NPCs" to investigate the origins of an act of corruption/defiling towards Nature. An ancient pyramid had been spilling a foul liquid into the river that serves the city of Phlan (DAMN YOU, MR. BURNS!!!), causing the fish, other animals, and plants to mutate into hideous things. Even more hideous than Septimus, our fellow tiefling...

Death by Sardines

The group travelled through the forest, encountering several abhorrent fauna and flora. Eventually, a raft was used to take the heroes to the pyramid’s island. That’s where our epicness began. The raft was attacked by tentacles, causing the warlock to fall overboard, whom was in turn attacked by a shoal of mutant sardines, going below zero hit points. The bard bended towards the water to catch the unconscious tiefling… and was also attacked by the sardines! Also becoming knocked-out! So, we have an unconscious tiefling floating in the water, with a bard grabbing his legs, who in turn is ALSO unconscious, with the ranger ALSO holding his legs, while half the party is getting its ass kicked… by sardines!

Yes, we are supposed to be the epic heroes of Phlan, saving the world from the Cult of the Dragon.

Death by Ale Mugs

We enter the pyramid, where several tests are presented to us (which I will not reveal, in order to avoid spoilers), and pass through several encounters and traps, finding out that the pyramid’s corridors and rooms are shifting and have some interdimensional weirdness occurring.

Perhaps now would be a good time to say that I ABSOLUTELY HATE DUNGEON CRAWLING! I mean, I hate it more than I hate elves! If it were up to me, this game would be called Dragons & Dragons.

At a given point in time & space we arrive at a room where a new totally epic scene awaits us. The room if full of… kitchen utensils. Ale mugs, an iron pot, a scale, and a couple of old armors. Praise Bahamut that they were animated armors, and not animated aprons! At least what followed can be a little less humiliating… Well, actually it can’t!

We were attacked by the aforementioned kitchen tools. I am supposed to be a heroic level five cleric of Bahamut, yet I find myself exchanging blows with two animated ale mugs, while my fellow comrades have their asses whooped by the same iron pot where Samwise Gamgee cooked rabbits for Frodo, and a pair of scales. Allow me to be 100% clear: when I say “scales” I’m not mentioning some sort of magical enhanced dragon scales. I’m mentioning the stuff you use to weigh PO-TA-TOES! Yes, the same potatoes that Sam wanted to cook the rabbits with.

The only good thing coming out of this encounter was having the imp killed by the cooking pot. It is impossible to have a more idiotic death in D&D. One can almost think about its tombstone: “Here lies Generic Evil Imp. Killed by a cooking pot. He will not be missed”

Death by George R R Martin

So, our D&D group (with D&D standing for Dumb & Dumber) continued its epic walk along the pyramid, until an encounter with a Red Wizard and his friends occurred. We managed to enter the room by surprise, and assaulted the fighter that was near the door. Then, out of nowhere, behind door number five, a wild Generic Red Wizard of Thay appears. Aaaaand, Ice Storm, Fireball, you’re all dead by A Song of Ice and Fire.

It ended up not being a TPK because… well, because the DM didn’t want to wait for us to roll new characters!

Thus, we were released by the ranger (who had missed the session), went after the Generic Red Wizard of Thay… and allowed him to flee the pyramid. Yes, that’s it. We suck so much that we couldn’t even kill the bad guy. When the DM asked us “But, aren’t you going to look for the Cult of the Dragon members that entered the pyramid?” we answered with a collective “Screw this shit, we’re going home!”

Death by Imp

The last (?) room of the pyramid (where we confronted the Generic Red Wizard of Thay), had a set of alien machinery operated by enthralled lizardmen, connected via pipes to an extradimensional breach from where the generic evil black goo was being fueled. With a lot of precision, expertise, and knowledge about engineering, we smashed everything to smithereens.

Was it over? Noooooo, because, meanwhile, the bloody imp had returned to life. The machines’ room was guarded by red slaad (evil frogs of Hell), which had several eggs (note: I wish autocorrect would stop correcting “slaad” to “salad”, because it would be awkward to have a room guarded by “red salad”… Well, in due honesty, in this quest in particular I guess it wouldn’t be that awkward.). My dwarf noticed Septimus, the tiefling warlock, attempting to steal one of the eggs. When I insisted that he returned it to be smashed-by-the-boot-of-the-dwarf, the bitchy imp attacked me from behind. After the final fight I was at 9 hp. I went to the floor…

Aftermath

If the mood between Khan and Septimus wasn’t good until now, one can imagine how it will be in the future… One thing is to have a good-aligned cleric trying to ignore a pestering, yet majorly harmless, imp. Another is to have that imp betray the party and attack one of its members when he is vulnerable.

One thing’s for sure: something will change, for worse, amid the party. But that is what you get when you mix a holy servitor of Bahamut, god of good dragons, and a servitor of Mephistopheles, archdevil of the nine hells…

Khan’s Report: Tyranny in Phlan – Part 2

Tyranny of Dragons Storyline Season – Expedition 10: Tyranny in Phlan

[Heart of Platinum]

Khan (dwarf cleric), Lanza (elf bard), Sasha (human ranger), Septimus (tiefling warlock)

Previously: The city of Phlan fell victim to a sudden attack from the Cult of the Dragon, led by the impressive green dragon known as Maimed Virulence. Amidst the chaos, the four “not-exactly-heroes” of Phlan ready themselves to storm the Castle, while their brave ally, Lieutenant Aelid, prepares a diversion.

Ecce Deo!

Lieutenant Aelid died a horrible death in front of the gates. Period. And that’s just it. This is how I inform the world of the death of the only non-chaotic-evil NPC in the campaign. The only NPC which I didn’t have an immediate urge to “Hammer to Fall”. Alas! That is life as a D&D player. Everything dies around yourself. Sometimes you die yourself. And then come back to life. And then die again. And then come back to life again. And that is the meaning of life.

IN D&D!!!!! Kids, do not try this at home!!!!

Stonejaw Gate closes behind the heroes. Countless "true" guards are tied in courtyard. Actually, this information in inaccurate, since the DM told us that there were EXACTLY 124 guards in chains. The berserkers from the Cult of the Dragon focused on us. Swords were drawn... And Septimus disappears after one of the guards. Yeah, his player had a last minute problem and couldn't attend the session, so the tiefling started running after the guard, and went M.I.A.

But, I digress. Let me remind you, dear reader, that the characters, at this point, were rather beaten. My brave cleric didn't have a single spell slot available, the quantity of healing potions was quite reduced, and our hit points weren't exactly maximized, and the horned-guy-that-shoots-eldritch-blasts had just ran off-screen.

So... Long story short, Sasha fell to the repeated beating of one of the evil guys' TWO-HANDED-GREATSWORD (thanks a lot, dear beloved DM; may you rot in hell, and the abyss, and so on, and on...), while Lanza used his magic to crowd-control the other evil guys with some fear effect. The problem was a minor detail called cambion. After he mind-controlled Khan, things were looking pretty towards the "it was a good ride, guys, but the campaign comes to an early end".

Septimus! Or possibly the cambion... I'm always confused!

But, apparently, the party didn't have its demise scheduled for this particular moment. Hidden among the captives was Lord Hector Brahms, who jumped after the cambion, forcing him to leave the scene. Simultaneously, Lanza managed somehow to withstand the hits from the last standing guard. Meanwhile, Khan was unconscious, slipping into the long night. At that moment, a booming voice manifested itself in the cleric's mind.

BAHAMUT!

Khan was overwhelmed. His link with Marthammor Duin had been faltering in recent times, and a direct contact from "a god of dragons" was the last thing he was expecting.

Joining forces, the two last remaining heroes manage to clear the board and free the guards. But the cost was too high. Sasha's body lays lifeless on the floor of the courtyard. Khan walks towards the fallen comrade, takes her body in his arms and raises it towards the heavens. "Hear me, oh Bahamut, Lord of Dragons! If you'll accept me as your loyal, unflinching servant, I pledge my life to your cause, vowing to abandon everything behind me. I ask thee only to restitute the Breath of Life to my brave companion!"

The dwarven cleric's right arm points at the sky, and a flash of platinum descends towards it. His hand touches Sasha's forehead, and the ranger comes back to life.

Khan experiences an awakening. He drops his magical warhammer, tears his vest apart, and joins the escaping prisoners.

Wow! How's that for "a stupid game where you only roll dice and kill stuff"? In thy face, haters!

Gathering what remains of the captives we RUUUUUN TOOOOO THE... SEWERS (hmmm, not exactly the same as Iron Maiden), where a rotting, stinking, bitch drow asks us 250 gp to take us safely out of the city, along with the survivors. So, yes, the bastard DM refuses to give us treasure, AND keeps the day emptying our pockets! Where's the Complaint Form Nº 174-A/2580 to send to WotC?

We board a boat, and under the cover of night flee to Mulmaster, across the Moonsea…

The Tyranny of Dragons has arrived. May Bahamut guide our steps, and Tiamat use the DM as a backscratcher.

Khan’s Report: Tyranny in Phlan – Part 1

Tyranny of Dragons Storyline Season – Expedition 10: Tyranny in Phlan

[Heart of Platinum]

Khan (dwarf cleric), Lanza (elf bard), Sasha (human ranger), Septimus (tiefling warlock)

Previously: Several have been the services that the heroes--- errr, let's just call them characters - have performed for the city of Phlan, while the Cult of the Dragon's activity appears to be on the rise. But one must wonder: is there something bigger on the way?

Enter the Maimed Virulence

Following several downtime days, the characters gather once again in the city of Phlan. They are summoned by Lt. Aelid to the Laughing Goblin Inn, who shares her concern with the growing corruption within the Black Fists (the city guard). She suspects a rogue named Spernick (prisoner awaiting judgement) is behind it, and wants the characters to investigate it. Unfortunately, the meeting is abruptly interrupted, when an adult green dragon attacks the castle - where the city nobles are assembled - wreaking havoc all over the place.

The Maimed Virulence has arrived! 

At the same time, several cultists roam the city streets capturing people and dumping them in a carriage pulled by an ettin.

From the Laughing Goblin's first floor balcony, the not-quite-heroes unleash everything at their disposal at the ettin, drawing its attention. The two-headed giant closes in, and spits its foul breath at the almost-heroes. But the beast it is quickly felled.

Khan, the-only-one-resembling-a-hero, sees an evil priest coordinating the attack. While thugs and a giant lizard stampede into the Laughing Goblin, Khan jumps graciously from the window (yeah, you guessed it right... a dwarven cleric in heavy armor with 8 Dex "jumping graciously"...), onto the ettin's corpse, and chases the cultist.

The fight doesn’t go entirely on the heroes’ favor. Lanza and Septimus have a hard time facing the agents of the cult and their giant lizard, and Khan soon realizes that the cultist is indeed a priest of Tiamat, with a power far superior to his (good aligned 5^th level cleric VS evil aligned 9^th level cleric… guess who wins?).

Albeit drained of spells and resources, the characters manage to survive the assault.

You are Welcome… to leave the city

A GORGEOUS BRUNETTE PRIESTESS OF MORADIN (patron deity of dwarvenkind), with whom Khan will in the future have many sons and daughters (just to be clear: I’m talking about the priestess… not Moradin!), named Eunice Thundershield reports having seen a cambion (evil guy with red skin, horns, and demonic wings – can be easily mistaken with Septimus) leading the cultists, near Stonejaw Gate.

Amid the survivors we reencounter a recent acquaintance: Arya Glenmuir, who has, again, lost her spellbook. She believes the best thing to do for now is to help evacuate the population, but with the streets full of cultists we’re going to need the help of the Welcommers (the bastards that comprise the local thieves’ guild).

On our way to meet the Welcommers we discover that the castle guards have been imprisoned by the rebelling inmates. Oh, joy…

Necessary Evil

Almost arriving at the gate, we come across a group of traitor Black Fists. After a brief period where the party basically serves as punch bags, the rogue guards either flee or surrender. With the city fallen in chaos, and with most real guards captured by the followers of Tiamat, the party is faced with a problem: what to do with the surrendering thugs? Khan, having a background as a mercenary sergeant, is willing to give a clean cut to the traitors, ending their lives. All Hell breaks loose!!! All players and DM start waving their arms in utter shock! "You can't do that! That is evil! Ugly! Ugly! Ugly!" Well, ooook, under normal circumstances I wouldn't, but presently either we leave them here to be freed by the other escapees, or we give them "Judgment Day". "You can't! You can't! What about the bunnies, and the butterflies, and bees, and stuff! That is evil! EVIL!!!"

Khan rolls his eyes, turns around, and carries on. I hate alignment discussions in D&D... Next time I’m playing a paladin of Bane.

And now comes the funny part: amid the ensuing chaos that engulfed the city, Khan received a secret letter from the Harpers. It contained a mission. If Khan wanted to rise in the Harpers’ ranks he had to KILL the rogue Spernick (the one behind the rebelling guards). Now imagine what would have happened if I had decided to fulfill the mission, and kill a detainee entrusted to the city jail. I would be branded a black priest, my face would have been painted in the banners of legions of demons, and my name would have been associated with sheer evil, doom, famine, war, and all other plagues and curses one can imagine.

Curiously, it wouldn’t take long before the events unfolded in a way that would make Khan part ways with the Harpers. But I’ll save the surprises for Part 2.

The Gates of Hell

Stonejaw Gate stands before us, barred and with the cambion in command. But before the party can focus on the enemy, something unexpected happens: Ellissande, a young girl we rescued from being sacrificed at the clutches of three hags, appears mounted on a blind goat and making references to "he who runs below the waves". Khan is mortified! This is young, innocent Elissande! What the hell happened? Septimus inquires about "he who runs below the waves", but, distrusting the tiefling, Khan refuses to share any info with him.

Lieutenant Aelid enters the scene, commanding the few guards she managed to assemble. She's going for a frontal assault at the gates, hoping to create a diversion that allows the party to enter unnoticed.

So it begins!

(to be continued)

Khan’s Report: Tales Trees Tell

[Vacaria Brotherhood] - D&D Expeditions: Tales Trees Tell

Khan (dwarf cleric), Sasha (human ranger), Lanza (half-elf bard), Septimus (tiefling warlock)

Previously: Many have been the expeditions around the city of Phlan that reveal the Cult of the Dragon’s inexorable rise in power in the region. Among many discoveries, Vacaria Brotherhood has compiled news about the imminent arrival of a black dragon.

Missing in the Forest

Lieutenant Aelid asks our help regarding some reports of people gone missing in the forest, and some hysteria pointing towards children stories about Jenny Greenteeth, a hag.

When we arrive in Cabal’s Hill, a Halfling named Grina tells us about a guy named Halvin that went into the Quivering Forest, apparently with intentions of reaching the elven town of Green Hall. The problem is that a long lasting pact between Phlan and the Quivering Forest forbids anyone from entering the forest. Several days after Halvin went missing, an expedition of eight townsfolk was sent in order to find him. None have returned.

Jenny Greenteeth

While we speak with Grina, screams echo in the night. Outside, a guy is nailed to a pole, with his eyes removed, his tongue sliced, and a stake driven into his chest. He is in excruciating pain. Sasha draws a dagger in order to cut his throat and put him out of his misery, but fortunately Lanza is able to stop her. I use my divine magic to ask Marthammor Duin for guidance, and heal the poor fellow, which collapses, but survives!

Where his eyes had once been, two stones with Jenny Greenteeth’s runes now stand. In the stake, there are eight papers that the townsfolk took with them, saying they don’t want to disrespect the pact, and they’re just looking for a missing companion.

When the guy regains conscience, Lanza casts Detect Thoughts and tries to communicate with him. He sees the hellish vision of a hag. I pay the ferryman five gold pieces to take the suffering man immediately to Phlan, where he can be properly treated.

Not another imp!

Some of you may recall that one of my “adventuring companions” is a disgusting tiefling with an imp, which doesn’t go marvelously well with “righteous neutral good Harper dwarven cleric”. So you can imagine my enthusiasm when we discover ANOTHER imp, killing cows in the town.

The bloody creature’s name is Pipyap, and he “belongs” to Halvin, which we find out that is a member of the Cult of the Dragon, and also a servant of Asmodeus.

Oh, great… So, I look around and how many Harpers do I see? NONE! And how many FUCKING-HELLISH-DAMNED-BASTARD-DEMON-WORSHIPERS? Countless ones, everywhere. This is going to be a lonely ride…

After reading Halvin’s diary we also discover that he has been commanded by the Cult of the Dragon to break the pact between Phlan and the Quivering Forest. I choose this moment to announce to my comrades that Halvin stopped being a goal for me. I will do every effort to rescue the remaining villagers, but will not move a finger to help a servant of Asmodeus that works for the Cult of the Dragon.

Serelis, the ranger

With no other option but to enter the forest, we do so. May Marthammor Duin bless our steps.

We reach the hut of Serelis, a ranger that has good relations with Cabal’s Hill. He tells us the townsfolk passed through him some days ago, and that he provided the help he could. But he suspects they are all dead by now, either at Jenny’s hands, or the elves’. None too soon, we are attacked by a pack of needle blights and scarecrows. Apparently, Jenny wishes to make her presence felt.

Elves and panthers (no, nothing Drizzt-related)

Following our trek along the forest we are greeted by the elves. And by “greeted” I mean hailed with dozens of arrows. Lanza, in his quite peculiar manner, tries to act like some sort of boisterous buffoon, and a volley of elven arrows lodge in his chest. I recall a very similar situation not so long ago. This could easily end our lives. I open my hands to show I’m not hostile, and repeat, time and again, what is our purpose. The harassment from the elves stops. At least for now.

Alternatively, the harassment from the pixies begins! Lanza is chosen as a target for their pranks. After some “awkward intercultural moments” one decides to lead us towards “one of our friends”. We discover one of the villagers, already dead. Killed by displacer beasts… which decide that we are the main course of today.

We fight against two of those panthers with tentacles, and barely escape with our lives (and only do so thanks to Sasha’s wolf, by the way…).

The little welcoming hut in the forest

Deciding not to disturb the elves, we head towards the place where we expect to find Jenny.

Once upon a time, in a warm clearing in the forest, there was a friendly little hut, with a yummy-smelling cauldron, and a nice warm-hearted hospitable old lady… with two guys hanging in a cage.

Hmmm… this must be the weirdest child story I’ve ever heard. The nice old lady invites my comrades to sit and enjoy her stew… and they do so! I am baffled. Ignoring this masquerade, I head to the cage and try to free the captives. The nice old lady casts Hold Person on me. I pass the save, but am alerted to her power. My friends are all cheer and laughter with the old crone, while she accuses me of being rude and not being willing to benefit from her kindness. She speaks of the old pact between Phlan and the Quivering Forest, and how we (the people of Phlan) have chosen to disrespect it, while they have countless times dealt with foreign threats that may have reached the city. But – in her immense epic generosity – she is magnanimously willing to establish a new pact. Lanza is beyond excited, already envisioning a treaty with his name stamped on it. Before discussing the new terms, my companions ask about the villagers. Friendly Jenny confirms that some have been killed by the elves, one has been killed by the displacer beasts, two are hanging in the cage, one she sent to Cabal’s Hill with a stake through the chest, and the others… she looks to the cauldron, at the exact same time that Pipyap, the imp, spits a ring from his mouth.

Negotiations are over for me. I cast Hold Person on the bitch, she fails the save, and I run to her drawing a pair of manacles from my pack. My move was so unexpected that even the DM wanted to look into my character sheet to confirm I had the manacles with me. But dice are dice, and when I try to restrain the hag I roll a 1.

Nevertheless, my intentions are now quite obvious. I am not going to bargain any kind of pact with a hag that just confirmed being the person behind the gruesome attack on the guy tied to the pole, and that just served “soup-made-of-villagers” to my comrades-at-arms.

The other players are mad at me for breaking the negotiations, but that is the burden of being the only Good-aligned character in the group. Lanza and Septimus are refusing to act against the hag, and when Sasha drags her by the hair with the intention of throwing her into the cauldron, Septimus blocks the path.

The divisions among the groups allow the hag to escape, transforming into a bulk of worms and vanishing in the earth. The winds howl our names, with Jenny’s promise of vengeance upon us, and vengeance upon Phlan.

One does not reason with Evil

We return to Cabal’s Hill with the two remaining villagers, which reveal that Jenny had also proposed them to form a new pact. Much discussion brews amid our group. Tension is palpable, and positions become extremed. I stand resolute in defending my actions. One does not reason with Evil. We do not look the other way when innocent blood is spilled. Righteousness may have a cost, but that is a price I am willing to pay.

Septimus does not cease to hassle me about what happened, and insists that I am responsible for anything that goes wrong in the future. Well, his prophecy doesn’t take much time to be fulfilled. The ranger, Serelis, comes to town, wounded, saying that the elves have declared war on Phlan, and an alliance with Jenny and the Cult of the Dragon. Already caravans have been assaulted.

Septimus displays a mocking smile, and starts clapping while he looks at me.

“Well done, Khan... WELL DONE!”

My hand tightens around my warhammer, while my burning eyes lock into the tiefling’s. I call, silently, upon my god’s guidance to temper my blood, in order to avoid doing something I may regret…

---

Report to Wise Owl Gabriel Emmeritus

My friend,

You have always been a wise tutor, and a trustworthy ally. Like me, you are among the few people in this region that understands our role as beacons of unflinching hope against all forms of Evil.

As I have confided to you previously, grave times are approaching Phlan and the surrounding region. The Cult’s grasp spreads with inexorable power. Beyond the “black problem” I mentioned about the marshes, something Evil runs with the winds of the Quivering Forest. An alliance between savage elves, a powerful hag, and the Cult is on the rise. Innocent blood has been spilled, and I fear much worse if we don’t take action swiftly. In order to mount a preemptive defense, I urge you to mobilize the necessary goods to establish a forward post with enough men to protect the surrounding region. I believe Lepanto and Lewyn are able and battle-tested fighters, capable of assuming the necessary responsibilities. I am willing to offer part of the coin I have in order to fund the wages of the recruits.

Regarding the adventuring companions that Marthammor Duin has chosen to accompany my travels, it is my firm belief that Septimus is beyond all hope of salvation. He seems pleased with the considerable power his devil master provides him, and I doubt he’ll ever willingly turn from it.

Don’t trust any word you hear from Lanza. He is a delusional, erratic, egocentric maniac. He has allegiance to none but himself, and lies with the same swiftness that I brand my hammer against the undead.

Sasha remains a wildcard. I have absolutely no idea what is her agenda. Some of her actions are questionable, but while her bow is aimed at our enemies, I can have a good night’s sleep.

Respectfully,

KHAN

The Righteous Hammer

Khan’s Report: Drums in the Marsh – Part 2

[Vacaria Brotherhood] - D&D Expeditions: Drums in the Marsh

Khan (dwarf cleric), Klin (elf druid), Lanza (elf bard), Septimus (tiefling warlock)

Previously: People have gone missing in the farmsteads around the Twilight Marshes. On his way to Gilthanas’ marriage, the gnome Archibald decides to investigate… and disappears.

Recycling Characters

We rescued a bunch of people being driven in rafts by the lizards. A friendly dwarf named Kill Him told us that a competition was being held in the Island of the Lizard King (no, I'm not talking about Japan and Godzilla), involving three tribes: Dusk-Dusk, Gob-Gob, and Jib-Jib.

Alas, the freed farmers needed someone to guide them along the swamps, so four of our party members were volunteered to accompany them (yeeeah, the players were absent and we had to dispatch their characters...). But alongside the friendly Kill Him (dwarven baker extraordinaire) we discovered my good friend Lanza (bard not-quite-so-extraordinaire, but really smart) and the druid Klin (that somehow got teleported from another campaign, in another time, in another place).

The Hermit, The Dragon, and The Horned Ones

Kill Him told us to visit the hermit named Gregor that lived in the swamp. I have absolutely no idea what transpired inside Gregor's hut, because the entire time was spent with Septimus speaking with Gregor and the imp in abyssal. Yup, the horned guy with the imp was the single one remaining from the original ensemble (why me, Marthammor Duin... why me...).

The hermit eventually told us that a COLOSSAL BLACK DRAGON was the one responsible for the lizards' competition. Oh, joy… this just keeps getting better...

With the Island of the Lizard King's location in mind, we carried on.

When we felt that the beating of the drums was close, we halted our march. It was night, and we spotted a strange big lizard destroying several effigies that resembled a dragon. Septimus tried to allure him into an ambush, but the guy didn't fall for it. In that moment, our horned warlock decided to unleash an eldritch blast on the lizard... but apparently his batteries were out. Humm... what could possibly be the reason for his magical powers to wane so suddenly? When he answered that question, the world stood still.

"My patron, Mephistopheles, the Archlord of the Eight Hell, has denied me access to the arcane powers."

We must bear in mind that I am playing with a righteous dwarf cleric. Remember the guy who was protecting the pouch with the 15 gp belonging to the old folks from the farm, who is also a Harper agent? Yup, that's me.

The entire party fell silent, and looked at me in expectation. Ok, NOW is the time to roleplay. I wasn't going to attack another player's character (unless he harmed me in any way), but obviously I wasn't going to simply dismiss this info as "nothing to see here, move along". So, I displayed my most serious dwarven-face and questioned my companions if we were going to make the final assault on the lizards having at our side a servant of an archdemon that could - and probably would - betray us at any moment.

Septimus argued that I was judging him too quickly, and that his servitude wasn't a question of choice. Instead, he was bound by something previous to his birth. An interesting exchange of arguments followed, in the eternal struggle between good and evil, and the tiefling eventually revealed that Mephistopheles ordered him to kill the hermit, which he refused.

At that moment I considered hitting the imp with a Guiding Bolt, but my spell slots as a 3rd level cleric are very limited, and we had already decided to press the attack on the island this night.

GOB-GOB! GOB-GOB! GOB-GOB!

We had to be pragmatic. Albeit the issues with "Hellboy", we needed manpower to hit the lizards and free the captives.

Although Lanza is far from being among the 100 best bards of the Moonsea (teeheehee), we must remember that he is one of the smartest persons in the region (Hello-Kitty-Headband of Intellect). So, he decided to do the SMARTEST THING POSSIBLE: steal the flag from the Dusk-Dusk camp and run around shouting "GOB-GOB! GOB-GOB! GOB-GOB!" And thus another memorable moment was born in Vacaria Brotherhood's history.

Mayhem ensued, and the lizards started killing each other. At that precise moment, the imp decided to attack the tiefling. And there we were, dear readers: a bard running insanely with a horde of lizardmen in pursuit, a tiefling in mortal kombat with his own imp, and my righteous dwarf being cooked alive inside the chainmail by the tribal shaman's Heat Metal. Thankfully we had the bear-shaped druid to do something!

Amid the chaos, the big lizard who had escaped our ambush appeared from nowhere and assumed control. While we tried desperately to free all people from their cells, the Megalizardtron gathered all the tribes under him. The druid rushed to free all the animals captured in cages... and was trampled! Yes, there was a stampede of chickens, sheep, goats... and one cow!

Megalizardtron ordered all the lizards to throw javelins at us. Our DM is a kind, loving, merciful person, and so decided to roll a d20 to see how many javelins would hit us... and rolled 19. I hate the DM.

My brave Khan, seeing that death was upon us with a stampede of lizardmen coming our way, started unleashing Guiding Bolts at Megalizardtron. My comrades started losing crossbow bolts towards him, and when we felled the bastard... the lizards ran away!

Marthammor Duin be praised.

The One and Only Lizard King in the Universe

The "Protector of the Fifteen Coins" and The Missing Gnome

We managed to organize the panicking prisoners, but not a single gnome was among them. Where the hell could Archibald be? Well, at least I found the old farmers alive and restituted the pouch with the 15 gp to its rightful owners. No one can accuse this Harper of not keeping his promises!

We told the people to take refuge in Phlan, since we had learned that the COLOSSAL BLACK DRAGON would be returning in a ten-day. After a few days walking the marshes, and with the inn on our sight, guess what happened? We found Archibald. The dumb gnome had spent the entire time running in circles.

Now, about the horned fellow...

The day was saved. Well, Archibald tried to ruin it by summoning a fire elemental in the barn... Oh, and apparently Gilthanas' marriage went down the drain... But aside from that, all is well when it ends well!

There was, nevertheless, one loose end: Septimus! I confronted eye-to-eye (you'll understand pretty soon the pun in this...) my comrade-in-arms with his forthcoming choices. I wasn't about to allow a servant of Mephistopheles to go back to Phlan. But, if his claim to be innocent in the entire "demon pact" thing was true, I would be willing to look for powerful allies among the Harpers in order to help freeing him from servitude. My insight told me he was genuinely willing to explore this path.

The Eye of Septimus

There is, although, one minor detail that we are unaware of in-game: Septimus' powers only returned because he pledged to Mephistopheles his willingness to sacrifice one of his eyes. Will this go forward? And, if so, will the DM take the chance to further develop this seed and make this a powerful trinket in the future? We... shall... SEE! >:)