Baccardi Riga The Third (gnome illusionist), Gilthanas Sunblade (half-elf paladin), Klin (half-elf druid), Malak (half-orc rogue)
Previously: The heroes have fought hard to raise their House of the Divine Flame, dedicated to Sune, being forced to recover the goddess’s statues stolen by forestfolk. The arrival of the church’s emissaries is widely awaited…
I start this post with a protest! How can a Fireball do 8D6 damage?!?!?! It is known, since before the dawn of times, that a Fireball rolls for 6D6! Where do you think this blog’s name came from? Hum?
Grumble… But let us start at the beginning…
Anarchist-atheist-catastrophists in Phandalin
Our session started with ample P-A-R-TAY! The committee from the Church of Sune arrived in our town, and booze flew freely all along the main square.
In the aftermath of the festivities, a bunch of freaks decide to launch a nocturnal attack on the temples of Sune and Tymora. While Sune is blessed with our presence (we manage to capture the culprits – more guys to swing in Gilthanas’ hanging ropes), Tymora, goddess of luck, is quite… unlucky! BWAHAHAHA! Pun intended. The priestess, Gandarelle, appears to have been captured by the crazed anti-gods fanatics. With our widely perfected inquisitive skills we are able to discover that the loonies belong to a cult that goes by the name “Zetas”, operating from the mountains, Northeast of Phandalin.
The orcs are coming!
On our way towards the "general direction in the mountains where baddies gather" we cross paths with our dwarven friend Gandrid, the miner. He seems to be rather startled with news pointing to an imminent invasion from the Many Arrows orc tribe. Oh, really?!?!? When I spoke of it a couple of weeks ago he was all "oh, can't be bothered, have a mine to run", and now he is concerned? One day I'm gonna turn this guy into a frog. But for now he is an ally (besides, he is crucial in defending MY Forge of Spells), and my concern with the town is genuine, so I'm gonna give it a "red priority level".
The ruined temple
Eventually, we discover a ruined temple in the mountains. Belonging to no god in particular, it appears to have been severely vandalized. We try to take the sentinels down without much noise, and that seems - momentarily - to be the outcome, when suddenly... FIREBALL!
1. ROLL FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE
2. Gilthanas goes down
3. Klin goes down
4. ... fuuuuuuck
At times like these, you either go down in a blaze of glory, or be truthful to your roleplay. And I am ALWAYS truthful to roleplay. No matter the cost. I am a chaotic good gnome mage, two of my trusted friends are fallen at my side, near death, and I am outnumbered. They may be unaware of Malak's presence (he was fighting one-on-one with a sentinel behind some tents), but I'm not willing to take any chances and risk my comrades' lives. I raise my arms and surrender.
The bandits take the time to go into the temple in order to call what I presume was their boss, and leave only one guard watching over us. Malak takes the opportunity to take the guy down.
We press the final attack, killing every culprit, freeing the priestess Gandarelle, and... discovering a magical sword with the hilt shaped like the head of Sune. Gilthanas will be comatose for the next three weeks.
All is well when it ends well... Even when you discover a letter from one of the Zetas’ leaders that signs simply as “L”.
What the HELL, DM, is this supposed to be some weird crossover with “Death Note”? If so, can I turn my spellbook into one of those black notebooks? For scientific purposes, obviously… Arcana, science, and… stuff…
(The Imperial March plays in the background)