The Lost Mine of Phandelver 4: Everyone wants to kill the drow

WARNING: The following article contains material from “The Lost Mine of Phandelver”, which is an official module from D&D 5^th edition. If you’re planning on playing it, stop reading right away, otherwise this strange spirit will tickle you in places where darkvision doesn’t work.

So, recapping the key events of the previous sessions, a trio of dwarven brothers was looking for the fabled Lost Mine of Phandelver. Their intent was cut short by the deeds of a drow known as "Black Spider". After dealing with a band of thugs in the city of Phandalin, and rescuing Gandrid Rockseeker from captivity in the ruins of Cragmaw Castle, the most awesome adventuring party in Faerûn, known as “The Divine Flame”, caught the track of the lost mine…

We had already covered a lot of ground inside the mine when we were surprised by a half-naked half-elf, running from half-goblins (hobgoblins), half-in-trouble-with-the-baker because of the baker's wife. Don't ask… my gnome was half-confused with the whole story!

After rescuing Gilthanas from the fiends' paws, we carried our course. Our attention was claimed by the second inner building, the one right next to THE FORGE OF SPELLS - which became rightfully mine by holy and divine inheritance, thanks to the spirit from the previous session (yeah, the ugly one that looked like a beholder) . Now we were faced with a problem. A NEW spirit was inside the building, claiming that the Forge was his! WHAT? Such defiance cannot withstand! The Forge of Spells belongs to Baccardi Riga The Third - that being me!

Words were lost trying to reason with the spirit, which by no account understood that he was dead. But he had a treasure chest, and allowed us to pick ONE item from it. Needless to say we took them all... Since we have no rogue in the party, and being Mage Hand a cantrip, I took the time to levitate each diamond, coin, and whatsoever (a classy pipe) into the half-elf’s bag of holding.

With absolutely no weight on our consciences we continued our path, peacefully killing bugbears and hobgoblins. My gnome's batteries were probably exhausted, since he spent most of the time shooting Firebolts at the ceiling!

Hey! Look, the paladin did a critical with his sword! Wow, the cleric smashed the ugly bugbear with 15+ damage! Ouch, the druid just shot an arrow through the hobgoblin’s eye! And… the gnome just rolled another 4…

Alas! At least I have a magical Forge…

Eventually we reached Black Spider’s lair, being the drow accompanied by the third dwarven brother, which was in fact a doppelganger, trying to convince us that Gandrid was a greedy guy wanting the mine for himself.

And there I was, willing to dialogue with the drow, and hoping for a possibility to avoid bloodshed, which is quite probably the most anti-Dungeons-&-Dragons thing ever, and ever, and ever, and when I looked over my shoulder both the paladin and the cleric were hammering the drow into oblivion… Oh, wait! This is the module’s boss! This is the ultimate BBEG (big bad evil guy)! I’m sure he is an all-powerful wizard with countless spells, shooting acid arrows from his fingers, and spitting fireballs, and… and… and the bastard’s dead even before getting up from the chair where he was sitting.

I mean… COME OOOOOOON! I can’t even shoot a fracking hobgoblin in the face, and the paladin and cleric take the BIG BAD EVIL GUY DROW OF DOOM AND HELL AND STUFF in the first round? I want a refund…

Well, at least it wasn’t a total waste. I managed to hit the doppelganger with a Chromatic Orb… and then failed two more subsequent hits… Ok, guys, I’m just going to wait for you all up there by my forge… No, no, don’t bother… I’ll just sit there, blowing the embers till you’re finished…

And thus it came to pass! All evil was banished, the mine was cleared, the wee, nameless, random people of Phandalin can once again thrive, and we got a bag full of gold and XP!

The Lost Mine of Phandelver is a very nice introductory module for Dungeons & Dragons’ 5^th Edition. It can keep a group of players entertained for around five gaming sessions, presenting several adventuring locations, with good roleplaying opportunities, and finishing with a classic dungeon crawl. I enjoyed a lot the initial sessions, where we had plenty of time and liberty for roleplaying, unlike this final bit where we had to somewhat rush the last part of the cave / mine / dungeon, and didn’t have a chance to roleplay amongst us. BUT, the DM already announced that a side quest was left in stand-by… so, I’m sure you’ll hear again about the misadventures of THE DIVINE FLAME!

And just so that we’re absolutely clear on the matter… the Forge IS legitimately mine! I have papers proving it!

Well, of course the papers are forged! We’re talking, after all, about a Forge! =)

The Lost Mine of Phandelver 3: The Silenced Skull

WARNING: The following article contains material from “The Lost Mine of Phandelver”, which is an official module from D&D 5^th edition. If you’re planning on playing it, stop reading right away, unless you want your soul to be sucked by Jarvis.

“Hello. I’m Jarvis.”

Following the events occurred with the storming of Cragmaw Castle, “The Divine Flame” returned to Phandalin, where we discovered that the Mayor was taking credit for ending the Redbrand menace. Were we going to sit back and watch that happen? Like Hell, we were!

Now you just have to imagine a gnome, on top of the shoulders of a dwarf, with a BOOMING VOICE OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING (thank you “Minor Illusion” spell), shouting sheer propaganda about “The Divine Flame” to every soul in the city. In your face, Mayor Jackass!

But, hey, we are heroes, and we’re supposed to kill bad stuff. And kill bad stuff we did. We dungeon crawled half of the Wave Echo Cave, killing gooey stuff, undead stuff, and – EPICALLY – finishing the guy from the “Terminator” movies. We’re now, officially, badasses!

Approaching the flaming skull was a good party-moment, making us plan and discuss the best way to kill it, and NOT be killed in the process. Thank you, Rolfo’s spell list for having the “Silence” spell! It was epic, and badass, and we even had a roaring tiger… although he roared in absolute silence. But hey… it’s the intention that counts!

*Silent MEOOOWWW!*

The best was saved for last, with a sweet tactic-meets-roleplay moment around the Spectator, shedding some light about the History of The Forge of Spells – whose property was lawfully claimed by the Most Epic and Badass Baccardi Riga III.

Now, speaking of SILENCE and SKULLS… this reminds me of… ACHMED, The dead terrorist!

The Lost Mine of Phandelver 2: Cragmaw’s Castle

WARNING: The following article contains material from “The Lost Mine of Phandelver”, which is an official module from D&D 5^th Edition. If you’re planning on playing it, stop reading NOW!

After the nasty encounter with the rogue Glass Staff, and the charming nothic, in Part 1, we returned to the Mayor’s House in order to claim Food, Drinks, Fame, and Loot! But the guy was a cheapskate, so our pockets didn’t get any heavier…

The paladin rejoined the group (and got to meet my amazing gnome illusionist), and we were invited to spend the night in the Mayor’s House. While Rolfo (the dwarven cleric) read the book we recovered from Tresandar Mannor, titled “The Lost Mine of Phandelver”, my gnome charlatan spent half the time hiding propaganda about his family’s great deeds amongst the mayor’s library, and the other half practicing his new acquired spell – “charm person” – in the mayor’s butler…

The next morning we headed North, into the forest where we suspected we’d find Cragmaw’s Castle. While resting along Triboar’s Trail we were attacked by a trio of hobgoblins. They didn’t pose much of a threat, but I was flabbergasted with what the paladin and the druid decided to do with the last surviving member of the gang (one more victim to Baccardi Riga’s Hideous Laughter). The beast was tied , hanging from a tree, and when the location of the castle was revealed, the druid placed an apple in its mouth… and shot an arrow through it!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIKS! Get me outta here! What is wrong with this people? What about honor? Mercy? Kindness? Isn’t there room for that in Dungeons & Dragons? I guess not…

So we arrived at the castle and… went straight to the boss! Yes, just like that. Like we did with Glass Staff. Our GPS is flawless at tracking evildoers. I’m sure that the guys who designed the adventure weren’t very worried with “hiding the boss”, but c’mon… You have three possible points of entry. Two of them are doors, the other is a collapsed wall. Hummm, which one is less likely to have guards? Well, and guess which one leads directly to the Big Bugbear?

We had a great roleplaying moment, with the paladin pretending to be an insubordinate prick, alluring the big boss to a fight by cock a doodle doing, while I tossed some chicken feathers bellow the door where he was waiting. Trust me, this is great roleplaying! Forget about everything else! This is the real stuff! Not even the rooster from Disney’s Robin Hood could top this!

After using such bold and brave tactics, my gnome got to finish the bastard with a flaming orb cast with a critical hit. BAM! Forget about the Masters of the Divine Fire. After killing a hobgoblin with an arrow-through-the-apple-in-the-mouth, and cooking a bugbear alive, we shall henceforth be known as the Savage Raving Lunatics of Merciless Doom!

P.S. If you've never seen Disney's Robin Hood, from 1973, I strongly recommend it. It is by far one of the greatest animation films ever made. Go see it. You'll thank me later.

The Lost Mine of Phandelver

WARNING: The following article contains material from “The Lost Mine of Phandelver”, which is an official module from D&D 5^th edition. If you’re planning on playing it, stop reading NOW! Otherwise, the nice fellow below will eat you.

So we played one more session of D&D 5. This time I went with a gnome Wizard, charlatan extraordinaire, named Baccardi Riga The Third, supposedly the grandnephew of an important archduke. I spent most of the session lying with every tooth in my mouth, which is basically what I regularly do as a DM…

The game was very nice, with the DM allowing us to roam freely and do everything we wanted, without restraints. We even got a round of ale paid by dwarven miners! We were lucky and followed the most direct route to the Big Bad Evil Guy, which wasn’t that bad, or big, or evil, after all. The party was branded “Masters of the Divine Fire”, because the dwarven cleric kept praying to help our rolls, and both I and the druid played with fire spells (although my gnome uses mainly non-aggressive spells, but how can you resist a cantrip that does 1d10 fire damage?). Besides, there is another party member which is a paladin of Sune, the goddess commonly known as “Lady Firehair”. Therefore, it is impossible to gather more divine fire in a single party. As to the “Masters”… Well, like I said, I lie with every tooth…

I secretly believe the druid is chaotic evil – he caught a rat and tried to roast it with a flame from his hand. I secretly also believe the cleric is chaotic evil – he wanted to allow the nothic (the nice guy pictured above) to eat the big bad evil guy alive. Sooooo, yeah… the paladin is going to have a great time, surrounded by a deceptive, lying, lunatic, flamboyant gnome, and those two nice fellows.

 (click to enlarge)