[Divine Flame]
Baccardi Riga The Third (gnome illusionist), Gilthanas
Sunblade (half-elf paladin), Malak (half-orc rogue/fighter)
Previously: Summoned by the
Church of Sune to Neverwinter, the heroes search the city for three tears of
the goddess Selûne that have fallen from the sky.
Noble Scoundrels
I do recognize that, from time to time, I tend to act somewhat like a
scoundrel (some ill-intentioned people may even brand me a charlatan), but
comparing to what you see among Neverwinter's noble class... Pfffft! I have
years of training ahead of me!
We were approached by a maid of Lord
Farrahkan's, who told us (after asking for gold) that one of the crystals was
in her lord's possession. Well, time for some house calls to the nobles of
Neverwinter!
Since Gilthanas seems to be, AGAIN,
"missing in action" (underneath the sheets of some oddly named inn),
it falls to me and Malak to visit Lord Farrahkan. So, I pay for a fine
horse-drawn carriage to take the High Representative of Phandalin Baccardi Riga
The Third, and his companion, Master-of-Arms Professor Malak, to beseech an
audience at Farrahkan Mansion.
We wait... and wait... and wait... and wait in exasperation,
until some nosy butler comes to us asking for our intentions. What?!?! Am I,
BACCARDI-RIGA-THE-THIRD, envoy oh Phandalin, to justify myself to the butler?
Get outta here! I tell him that our business is for Lord Farrahkan's ears only. But the guy insists, and insists, and insists.
This stuck up half-witted scruffy-looking nerf herder starts to REALLY get
on my nerves! I tell him that we wish to discuss Art issues with Lord Farrahkan, alliances, an incoming orc invasion, whatever! But he just plays with
words.
At some point, he decides to mention - hypothetically - that Lord Farrahkan may
- hypothetically - have one of the crystals. And that
- hypothetically - he may be willing to trade it for a painting residing
in Lord Luther's mansion, which could only be - hypothetically - acquired
via less transparent ways.
I AM AT A SHOCK! Who does this culprit thinks he's talking with!!!!!!??????
"Professor Malak, I refuse to exchange one more word with this scum! I
leave the matter in thy wise hands!"
Yup... the flamboyant gnome and the fearsome half-orc make a good team.
Thunderstruck at the sound of pipes
It would be unthinkable for a noble gnome such as moi to enter a mansion in the middle of the night in order to steal
a painting. So, I leave my clothes in a box, dress all in black, and if anyone
asks... my name is Fidelio. I use my Spider Staff to give Spider Climb to both
of us, and we follow the path of the ninja!
OR NOT!
Twenty seconds after leaping the fence, I have a thousand guard dogs
barking and chasing me. I turn invisible and try to run into the house. But
these are huge, vicious, german shepherd dogs... although there is no Germany
in Faerûn. So I'm going to call them CORMYR MASTIFF HOUNDS OF BANE!!!!!! With
big red eyes! And teeth!
And, fuuuuuuck, they picked up my scent. They're
going to catch me, even while I'm invisible! Sune, my lady, save thy noblest of
followers!!!!
And she does.
Gilthanas, with the most perfect sense of timing in the history of
existence, appears near the mansions' gates, pretending to be drunk. He plays his bagpipes and uses some spell to make
thunder and lightning crash unto the walls, wreaking havoc all over the place.
That gives us enough time to "pickpocket" the painting and
get-the-F-out.
Come next day, Gilthanas and Malak go back to Farrahkan Mansion
and trade the painting for the crystal.
Too bad the dogs caught my scent. I was planning to inform Lord Luther, anonymously, that
the painting now rested in half-witted Louis' hands...
Floating Towers and Floating Armors and Floating Carpets
Some shady Harper dude approaches Gilthanas and informs him that the third
Tear of Selûne rests atop a floating tower. The only way to reach it is through
the gadget of a gnome named Pietrr, which resembles a huge ballista. Oh, this
is going to be fun!
We climb the rope up to the floating tower, which is rather amazing,
because it has ghosts of wizards falling from it. On arrival, BAM! Everything
around us changes! We are no longer in Neverwinter, but in some weird grassy
plains area. As everything seemed to be going so well, il bastardo (aka the DM) decides to throw every piece of FURNITURE at
us. Suddenly, the carpet
gets animated, there are flying swords all around us, a set of armor attacks
us, all Hell breaks loose!
Like elephants in a porcelain shop,
we smash everything. I wish I could keep the carpet... It would be nice to have
a flying carpet. No half-wit would deny an audience to Lord Baccardi Riga The
Third again...
Drying the Tears of a Goddess
And, there you have it! Another successful accomplishment for the Divine
Flame. We return the three tears/crystals to priestess Jasmine - which
Gilthanas INSISTS must occur in Sune's temple (the religious intolerance of
these people is appalling! - and there is much reverie.
Before leaving Neverwitner I meet with our
friend priest Magnus, and ask him to intercede on my behalf near Lord Nasher in
order to build a road connecting Phandalin to the High Road. I offer my
services to place a road sign pointing towards our blooming town... Which
obviously will have a mention to the noblest Baccardi Riga The Third! ;)
All is well when it ends well.
Previously Unseen Footage of Gilthanas' Performance in Neverwinter
